This post's gone to the toilet, since nothing else did

Yesterday I became a brand new person. I have heard other military wives talk about how they change when their husband leaves, about how they go from scared of daddy longlegs, to wrestling tarantulas. I always took it with a grain of salt until now. I'm going to go a bit further, though. I'm going to include all single moms in the post, because they don't get a break when their husbands come home.
So most people know that Carl left for Iraq. It's not a secret that being the only ringleader of my circus is not one of my favorite things to do, but nevertheless, I find reasons to look forward to it, and make it exciting and positive for the kids. Since Carl has been gone, I've been praying for things to keep me busy, so I don't stop and get sad in front of my kids- keeping up my best poker face.
Yesterday was a busy day. I cleaned all day, while watching 6 children, cooking, finishing up some work for class, completing paperwork for my business, and washing all the dirty clothes. I neatly stacked all of the clothes in my room on my bed to put them away after my daycare kids left, and my kids got up from their naps. Instead, during my kids naps, I sat down to do some homework, and realized my computer was dead, and the dog had chewed through the cord to my charger. Not only could I not finish my homework or access the internet, but I couldn't communicate with Carl, since he's beyond phone reception at this point, and relying solely on email.
So I did what any mom of 3 would do: throw all three of my kids into the car, and run to the Apple store 45 minutes away. Spending 75 dollars on a charger is a scary thing to do when you aren't sure how much money your husband may need on his journey around the world. But I managed to run through Burger King for the kids, and make it to the mall (where the Apple store is located) by 6. After finding the store, I walked in, and began to search for my device. I couldn't find it anywhere. Then a little Asian girl approached me (18ish, cute as can be), and helped me out. The employees at the Apple store check you out right then and there with little scanner things, and email you the receipt. I did not have the time to marvel over their innovation, but being the knowledgeable retail consumer and former manager that I am, I would have otherwise. It was pretty awesome. I vaguely remember Riley mentioning that he had to pee inside the store, but let's be honest, I was thinking about getting in and out, and not stopping anywhere else, especially this cute little children's boutique called Janie and Jack- too cute. SO we get to the car, and everyone piles in, except Riley, who I notice is still standing by the car with his hand on his crotch- pinching it to hold in the pee. OH MY GOSH! I totally forgot that he had to go pee! This is why we have to LISTEN to our kids, and not just "uh huh, uh huh" our way through life! Ok, so I just loaded all three kids, and I'm in way too much of a hurry to unload them all again and fight an unusually crowded mall on a Tuesday evening, but he says he can't hold it until the grocery store... I immediately begin looking around for a tree or something- but the mall is new construction, so no such luck. Suddenly I remember my mom joking with my brother about making him pee in a bottle when were kids... Hmmm...... Can I really get away with that? Do I even have a bottle in my car? Wait, yes. I got Riley a cream soda yesterday, and he finished it. Surely this isn't the first time he's removed his own trash from the car... And through the back of my Pacifica, I see the clear bottle, label removed, lid intact, sitting in the cup holder. I think it had a beam of light shining down on it, and a few musical notes filled the air, but I'm not sure that anyone else experience that but me. I looked at Riley with the straightest face I could muster, and told him that sometimes we have to do things that are unconventional in desperate situations, then shared my plan- fill that bottle with urine. He looked at me like I had lost it for a moment, and most likely, he was right... Then the look of mischievousness flooded his face, and he got too it. One trucker bomb later, we were on our way. I think it's the only time in his life that Riley thought, "My mom is cool."
Anyway, back to praying for busy work... I guess God took my request literally, because Asher woke up in the middle of the night at about 1:15. Then at 1:30, I heard that distinct coughing-puking combo sound coming from Riley's room. To my shock hand horror, he's puked all over his bed, sheets, floor, and remote control. Let's just all take a minute to savor and remember the smell of 2 am puke. Yummo. Oh, I forgot to mention that by the time we got home, I bathed the kids and dog, I was too tired to put up all of that clean laundry so I stacked it up on the floor on Carl's side of the bed, since he's not going to need that walkway clear tonight, or for the next six months for that matter. Anyhow, I let Riley climb into bed and snuggle up while I cleaned up his room enough to go back to bed. An hour later, he leaned over Carl's side of the bed, and puked again- all over that whole pile of clean clothes. I cleaned up all of that mess, took the laundry back in the laundry room to be rewashed, and climbed into bed just in time to hear Asher cry again. So I got him a bottle, and went back to bed. Another hour later, Riley pukes again, this time only into the bowl that I've place on the floor, so I clean up the puke, and him, and go back to sleep. Five o'clock came really early this morning. Poor Riley is still puking, but God gave me plenty to do didn't He? I was thinking more along the lines of new recipes, or random emails from old friends, but I guess I should have been more specific! So today I have a TON of laundry to wash, a sick kid to tend to, and I'm sitting her blogging! I better get started!


Mels said...

You so need a reality show :)

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Hopefully, things happen all at once and they're out of the way! That's usually what happens to me. Perhaps God knows our personalities are not such that drama should be strewn out over the course of lifetime; just in sporadic clumps :) Keep your chin up! Love you bunches....Mom

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Here you'll find the everyday musings of life, as I see them, which is probably not the same as you see them... Mother, baker, student, wife and woman, sometimes simultaneously, sometimes in conflict. Enjoy!
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