Where Else But Here?

Our year in smiles :o)

2010-07-08T14:15:00.000-07:00

Wait for it...

2010-06-06T15:05:00.000-07:00

I am waiting. Waiting to cry; waiting to rejoice. Waiting to go; waiting to be home. Lately I feel like I'm never where I want to be, physically, spiritually, emotionally. That nagging feeling that I should be getting groceries when I'm walking with the kids, or that I should be at home doing laundry when I'm with a friend. I feel impatient to grow and understand situations, when I clearly am not ready for answers or understanding of such magnitude.

Carl leaves for a TDY (temporary duty) trip on Monday, but he'll be back by Friday. I really dislike a lot of things about these monthly one week TDY that he's been tasked with. First, I have to be a "single mom" for a week. That stinks. Then I have to be alone for a week. I'm not an introvert, so that's actually a sacrifice for me. And there's all of the random cleaning and upkeep that he helps me with over the course of a week, which I have to do. So on the Sunday before he leaves, I am embarrassed to say I start to prepare myself for a cruddy week of "waiting for Dad."

I also have been waiting for my body to heal from this miscarriage, and to mentally heal from it too. I am okay with the whole process. It's odd to watch myself experience the stages of grief, and know my clinical state. For the most part, I'm good. But I'm not patient in the process. I'm ready. I'm ready to try again. I'm ready to carry another child, to feel the kicks, even to go through labor. I am ready. But God isn't. And so because I know that his plan is greater than mine. I will wait.

I was driving to the chapel this morning, and heard this song on the radio. You may have heard it by John Waller, from the movie "Fireproof." I have gotten so used to grumbling over how I hate to wait, and how ridiculous it is that things don't happen in an American minute. This song gave me an idea. For each day that Carl is gone, I will deliberately find ways to "wait correctly." While I'm waiting, I will praise, and serve, and love. While I'm waiting.

Mercy

2010-05-11T19:38:00.000-07:00

A quick update, just so we're on the same page, you and I: We found out that I was pregnant on April 20, via home pregnancy test. I was quick to share the news with everyone, because, well, I was just so DARN excited. We are READY for number 4! Two weeks later, I started to miscarry. After a trip to the emergency room, sonograms, blood tests every two days, more sonograms, buckets of tears, many sleepless hours, and a hard conversation with my kids, today we found out that this IS an actual miscarriage. There was some doubt for a while, since my hormone levels continued to rise despite the miscarriage. Usually those levels decrease as the body rids itself of all baby related tissue. So that's the deal. Short and sweet. There will be no Christmas baby for our family.

But that's only the smallest part of what this post is about. As I sat in the waiting room of the ER with one of the most amazing women I know, I noticed this tiny little girl. She was maybe 4 months old. Her little arms were splinted, and she wore an oxygen tube across her nose. It was obvious that she suffered from birth defects as her mom (maybe 20 years old) pulled a syringe full of formula out to feed her through a tube. In that moment I realized that as horrible and painful as a miscarriage feels now, a lifetime of watching my child suffer from birth defects is so much worse. According to this site (and numerous other sources that I've found in the last few weeks, while attempting to comfort myself with knowledge), anywhere for 2/3 to 3/4 of miscarriages occur because the baby just isn't forming the way it should be. And although I deserve every bit of pain and anguish watching my child suffer would bring, God granted me mercy. I know that's a weird way of looking at it, but I know that's what I was supposed to take from all of this.

You may also know that I recently started attending the chapel on base instead of going to Creekside. The move has been great in many ways, but also very difficult. Creekside is full of AMAZING people who became my family when Carl was deployed. These people opened up their homes, lives and groups to me and my children, and I honestly LOVE them. So when I started to feel God's pull for us to attend service at the chapel, I was less than thrilled. I went through quite a few weeks seeking counsel from my PWOC ladies, and toying with the challenge. In the end, I decided that whatever God had for me to do at the chapel was obviously more important than my comfort level, and happiness with attending Creekside. So we began attending service at the chapel, and I prayed and waited for God to reveal the work he had for me.

How arrogant was I to think that God moved us because I was useful to the chapel community? Through this whole miscarriage process, I realize now more than ever that, in spite of my own ideas for what I thought God had in His plan for me, He had something totally different in mind. God didn't have any "work" for me. He brought me into this body of people to care for me, right now, when I've needed it most.

And I know, without a doubt, that my Creekside friends would have prayed, and loved me, and helped me as much as they could, but in logistics alone, I would have never been as cared for as I am now. They are amazing people, and I hope that God has "work" for me there again someday because I miss Creekside like crazy, but for now, I'm in God's will, and that has turned out to be a good thing. And as another amazing woman reminded me the other day, watching God's plan unfold when you listen makes it that much easier to obey the next time he calls.

A friend once told me that in her life, she can label her difficult moments in life with "Even If" questions, and I think that true for everyone. No matter what happens, we hope to be able to choose to fall back in line with a positive answer to those questions. For me, a couple of "Even If's:" Even if God's request makes me temporarily unhappy, do I still believe that what he has in store for me is better than what I have now? Even if I don't get to have the baby that I thought I would, will I still say that He is good to me? After answering no to questions like this more than I'd like to admit, I'm glad to say these are a couple to which I can finally answer yes.

And like always, my one little bit of media, You Hands, by JJ Heller. LYRICS

And Counting....

2010-04-30T06:52:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a really brief post, but something I feel strongly about. If you know me, that doesn't happen often. I'm being serious. I rarely have STRONG opinions on anything. I'm pretty middle of the road, and moderate. I tend to see multiple sides of an issue and don't generally pick sides. That's just how God made me.

But lately I feel a little, well, judged. I'm expecting baby number 4, and if you include Carl's daughter, that will make a grand total of 5 kids. Don't get me wrong. I am freaking out a little. 3 children is a lot of work, and I know 4 will be a big adjustment. But, NO, I don't think it's too many, or I wouldn't be having another child. At this point, I pretty much know how pregnancies happen, ya know.

So in my defense of all of the, "the world can't sustain that many children," or "don't you think that's excessive?" comments. I'd just like to say that my children bring me joy in a way that nothing else on Earth does. There is no replacement for family, and I want my children to have a large family. And I don't think it's wrong, or irresponsible to wholeheartedly invest myself, and the majority of my resources in what I absolutely have the most passion for. If someone has a passion for cars, 3 or 4 cars isn't excessive. What about shoes? I'm not likening my children to material possessions. I don't think of them like that. But the happiness that comes from having and raising my children is unmatchable at this point.

If I found something someday that made me as happy as being a mother makes me, then perhaps I would look at investing my time, passion and resources into that (not at the expense of my children of course), but for now, there isn't anything.

Okay, so there you have my STRONG opinion.

Sew Crazy

2010-04-10T15:23:00.000-07:00

I don't have so much time for words lately, so my pictures will have to do for now. I've been spending most of my spare time (HA! Spare time is so non-existent!) sewing these days... I find myself daydreaming about my next sewing project rather than actually doing what I should be! Anyway, a few of my creations...

An apron for Grace- complete with velcro waist and elastic neck-strap so it's completely kid do-able.

Pillows for the kid's Easter baskets. This is Riley's. Grace's has orange and lime green flowers (bright, like her), and Asher's is Curious George.

Valances for my dining room.

A fun twirly skirt for Gracie...

And a snuggie for Riley (he rolls the sleeves up). I also made a cute monkey snuggie for Asher.

Asher is turning 2!

2010-04-05T14:57:00.001-07:00

I can't believe how the time has flown... No words can express, so here's a few pictures instead.

I don't even want to consider what this is going to feel like at 15 or 20!

Reusable shopping bags...

2010-03-25T15:52:00.000-07:00

I am completely aware that this blog is not going to be popular with my "green" friends, still I continue.

I have, for a long time, despised the fabric "earth-friendly" grocery bag. I think they're silly and trendy. Let me preface this by saying I don't think people who use them are silly, but the idea of bringing a grocery bag in to the grocery store to take home groceries is just plain odd. While I know there is a logical argument about grassroots movements, and how one person making a difference turns in to hundreds of people which may have an impact, I just think this is a step in the wrong direction.

The idea is: bring a bag with you, and use it over and over and save landfills from plastic grocery bags. After all, plastic bags take forever to disintegrate.

My multi-faceted problem with the idea: 1. Those bags hold a ton of bacteria and make people sick. Where do we store these bags? In the trunk, definitely not a germ-free zone. Are they used for a multitude of purposes like a diaper bag? Sometimes. How often are these bags washed? Rarely if ever. And if they are washed, is that any better for the environment than throwing away plastic bags? 2. How long do these plastic coated fabric bags take to disintegrate? I know that plastic in general takes 1000 years. Does that apply to these bags too? We're basically taking a plastic bag and reusing it 80 times, getting sick in the process, and then throwing it out eventually. Seems counterproductive. 3. If we're really worried about our impact on the environment, then why don't we just load our groceries back in to the cart without using any bags? Why not just take them package by package? I mean, that would be the most "environmentally friendly" thing to do, wouldn't it? And while we're at it, we should probably just stop buying anything that comes in any sort of packaging. Only fruits and vegetables, and lets carry meat by hand too (I'm being sarcastic). 4. We have to PAY for these bags. If that doesn't scream trend, I don't know what does. I think it's awesome to have a social trend that makes a positive statement. But when super grocery chains are taking our money so that we can participate in this fad, there is not an "environmentally friendly" stance behind that. It's about the bottom line.

I guess I'm feeling a little underwhelmed with the "green" movement these days. I'm all about making positive steps toward conservation, but it seems like sometimes society can really jump on a bandwagon before thinking it through. So next time you see me without my reusable bags, please don't judge me. I promise I won't judge you for having yours. And I'm off my soap box.

Dixie Lullaby

2010-01-05T18:36:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about my dad lately. In general, there are very few days that he doesn't cross my mind, even though he's been gone for nearly four years. Most days, something reminds me of him, or one of the kids asks a question about him, which causes me to take a trip down memory lane. I've heard no matter what, the holidays are always particularly difficult for those who have lost a loved one. I don't know exactly why that's the case for me. I didn't necessarily spend many holidays with my dad that I remember. In fact, after 22 years of overlapping life between the two of us, I only have distinct memories of two different holiday seasons. The time that I did spend with my dad happened mostly during the summer, so it would make more logical sense for me to reminisce then. But really, when are my emotions and my cognitive self synchronized? Rarely, if ever. So during the holiday season, I make cherry popovers, to remember him. I reflect on the previous year, and wonder what he would have been proud of, and what he would have wished I did differently. I wonder what life lessons he would have liked to share with me, and which of my personality traits came straight from him.

As the day of his death approaches, I consider his last days, his restful hours, and even his last moments. I wonder what it felt like for him to leave this world, and enter the next. I consider his views on the world and our mortality, and then I put them aside. I remember seeing his cold grey body, hardened, in clothes that he would have hated, lying in the funeral home. I remember sobbing with my sister, gripping her hand so tightly. I think about how guilty I felt over enjoying the company of my family in a time of such grief, and taps playing, and placing a flower in a deep hole in the ground.

But for every one of the thoughts I have about his death, I have five about his life. I think about how he must have felt as a child, the oldest of five, with my grandmother as his mother. I wonder if he knew as a child how amazingly blessed he was to be raised by her, or if he learned that later in life. I remember his work ethic, and wonder where it came from. I remember his really big hands, and imagine all of the places, surfaces, and workspaces they've been. I consider his military career, how he ended it, just to take it back up. But the best thing about remembering my dad is that I always end back up at love.

When I was growing up, I was embarrassed to have divorced parents. But as a teenager, anything that makes you slightly different than your best friend is embarrassing, right? I never really got why my mom and dad couldn't love "right." As I've gotten older, I more understand that they both loved, and just the right way. They both loved more than most, and feared less than others. My dad was married several times. I seriously don't even have a count. That would embarrass any teenager right. As a very young adult, I considered this to be one of his major faults. I saw that he never stuck with a marriage when it got hard. It's funny how time changes everything, isn't it? Now I don't see his multiple marriages as failures so much, but more as his inability to contain his love. My dad loved relentlessly. He may not have known how to make a marriage work, and his past may have precluded him from maintaining all the structural work that a marriage requires, but he loved without ceasing. It was the one thing he always did, and always did well. I think he believed in the eternal redemptive power of love too. He never gave up hope that one day he would get it right. So while some may see my dad as the ultimate ladies' man, that would be a gross understatement. He was the ultimate man, period.

I've been attempting to put together his past in patches and other little keepsakes. I often feel so inferior for not knowing where all of these little pieces of his life fit. But tonight I heard Pat Green's song, "Dixie Lullaby," which I haven't heard in a long time. It reminded me of how unimportant all of those little things are, but how much more it means to pass down that love, and that love of family that my father gave to me. So tonight, I sang my kids their very own dixie lullaby, and danced with them in the living room.

And on the day that God took away one of the most important men in my life four years ago, this year, He is delivering my husband from a certain Hell of its own. I believe that's just one more example of how God can make anything good. I am humbled to serve such an amazing, thoughtful God. I love how, while He's taking care of the entire world, He is an individual God for me, and I am thankful for the time he gave me to learn from my father.

If you can't use the sound for whatever reason, here are the lyrics.

Excuse Me

2009-12-14T13:24:00.000-08:00

My kids DO have manners :o).

The Division

2009-12-02T18:27:00.000-08:00

I know I've been on hiatus, but I'm back. I'm not going to hold myself to any sort of frequency because I think it's obvious how bad I am about that... This is what's been going on in my life lately:

I learned recently (through a great Bible study and awesome facilitator) that the best way to tell a story is to leave out the details and focus on the meat of the story, then to make sure that I do not play any significant role in the heroic characterization that is applied. I'm going to try my best to sort of follow that model now.

I've been sick. Mentally, physically, spiritually. You name it, and I've been unhappy with my status regarding that portion of my life. Recently, I've been having some medical issues, and having tests done. It's causing me to miss fellowship opportunities (which is oddly a big part of my concern, because it's something I look forward to every week to keep me grounded spiritually).

So along with these medical tests, has come my mental and spiritual discontentedness. Without my weekly/biweekly meetings, I feel like I'm floating, and I have an anchor, but the rope is slowly coming untied as I drift further and further away. I find my words short, and my temper flaring at every opportunity, even though I've given God the opportunity to heal that in me in the past, and I feel like He came through for me. Mentally, I've been struggling the worst. I question God so much. "Why would you let me be sick? You know I have 3 children. How is this going to affect them? How is this going to affect my marriage? I don't understand what You want me to learn. It's absolutely cruel to let me face something like this, and suffer when You have the power to heal me." I know, I can be a completely defiant, angry child, can't I?

So in my weakest moment (and it was very ugly, take my word for it), I feel like the answer came to me, and this may be completely confusing, but I'm going to attempt to explain this the best that I can. God reminded me that "I" am not sick, but my "body" is sick. What is ailing me has nothing to do with "me" as in, who I am, in the world and in God's kingdom, but is completely restricted to my physical being, and to be perfectly honest, no illness can infiltrate me, or hurt me, because "I" am God's, not my body, no matter how much we are convinced to worship our bodies in this world.

It's a lesson I think I've been struggling with forever, even if I didn't realize it. My weight loss has gone way too slow (15 pounds in 3 months is not what I'm looking for, so I get upset, etc.). I also felt like God was telling me that I don't need to rely on fellowship to be close to him. I've sort of fallen back into this rut of intellectualizing my spirituality, and I think others who have been studying much longer than me must have more valid opinions. But God reminded me that my conversation with him, on an individual level will always be way more helpful, accurate and moving than any opinion I hear, or message that I internalize. I'm not belittling the purpose of fellowship or saying that God doesn't speak to us through others, because I certainly believe He does. My stance is more that individual relationships with God have to be more important than fellowship with others, or we won't grow, and we'll have to be drawn to our knees (again? again...) in order to find Him again.

My Son, My Teacher

2009-10-24T14:17:00.001-07:00

When I get impatient, I fuss... a lot. Our mornings can be pretty crazy and chaotic around here. Usually we start off okay, but if anything puts us behind schedule, I get so stressed out. I hate to be late anywhere. So generally if we are running late, you'll hear me fussing at the kids:

"Grace! Get your brush and get over here so I can fix your hair! Riley, eat faster and get some socks on! Asher, sit down and quit messing with stuff until I get your clothes on! Stop! Don't! Hush! Come On!"

It's not pretty. It's very fussy.

Riley is also very interested in planting seeds right now (Bear with me, this will all make sense very soon). He loves planting seeds, watering them, and waiting for them to grow so that he can see them pop up out of the soil. I'm very glad he's interested in seeds because I have a feeling the next one in line will be asking to take care of hamsters or other small animals. Riley asked me to plant some seeds left over from his fruit the other day (orange, apple, and plum). He saved them in a ziplock and everything. I was sort of sad to tell him that we aren't allowed to plant fruit trees, or gardens in general without permits.

Anyway, the other morning I was going about my general fuss. "Why don't you have socks on?? Are you kidding me right now? You've only had like 2 bites of your breakfast Grace!" Riley stops me mid-sentence, and says, "Mom, I planted my plum seed. I know we're not supposed to, but I just wanted to see if it would grow real quick. I put it in the ground, and gave it some water, but it wasn't growing yet, and I really wanted it to grow. Then I got really close to the ground, and I yelled at my plum seed, but it still wouldn't grow. Yelling at a seed doesn't make it grow."

When did my six year old become smarter than me? Point well taken, Riley. Yelling doesn't make my seeds grow either.

I'm not happy, and that makes me happy

2009-10-22T12:48:00.000-07:00

So I just had a major epiphany... I know. Keep your sarcasm to yourself, because this is probably pretty standard issue to many.

This Saturday (the day after tomorrow) my brother is getting married. My brother, the one person in my life who has truly been an example of unconditional love throughout my life, is getting married. I can't go. The reasons are hefty and that's not what this is about, but I'm devastated that I can't go.

So as I sit here, surfing my endless sites of wonder: postsecret, craigslist, ebay, facebook, I wallow in my self-pity. My internal monologue goes a little something like this:
It's not fair that I can't go to his wedding. This is the biggest day of his life this far, and I know that I've made the choice to live this far away, but it really just doesn't feel fair. Sometimes I put myself in a situation that makes me suffer too much, sacrifice too much. I'm tired of sacrificing. My whole life, starting before I was born has been a sacrifice, and I'm tired of it.....

You get the picture right? It just gets heavier and uglier from there. Then finally after about five minutes of this negative conversation with myself, I say, I AM JUST NOT HAPPY.

Okay, so rewind a few hours, and I'm working out at the gym. I'm that crazy lady on the elliptical reading her bible while working out. Don't judge me. God is preparing my heart for an epiphany, through my elliptical. I can draw parallels to the elliptical and circular motion, etc, but I'll spare you.

Anyway, I'm reading the book of John, from the beginning. I generally avoid John. Without being sacrilegious, I kind of think John is trite, over quoted and overdone. I like to come to my own conclusions. But today, I was compelled to spend some time in John. In John, Jesus talks a lot about eternal life, and having our life in the afterlife, through his body and flesh (and probably sounded a lot like a cannibal to those who didn't get what he was saying).

Okay, so fast forward back to me, and my internal monologue. I began to question God (I'm not proud of it, and know better, but sometimes I do it anyway. Today I'm glad I did):
I have prayed and prayed about this situation. I don't feel any better, and you haven't created a way for me to go. I don't understand why you won't let me find comfort, yet I can't go either. And that's when it became clear to me.

My entire life I have been searching for happiness. Life is about being happy isn't it? NO. Life is NOT about being happy, or finding happiness. Life is about glorifying God. My life isn't even about me. It's about how many times I point to him. Period. Happiness is a fleeting feeling that sometimes we will have and sometimes we won't. But it's not what life is about, and shouldn't be my life's pursuit.

And in that revelation, God provided comfort. When will I learn to be patient and wait for it? That's another blog.

A little overdue!

2009-10-17T13:50:00.000-07:00

So I know it's been forever.. I constantly think, "oooh, I should blog this!" but then totally fail on the follow through. And today, o crazy child antics will be shared, but rather just a "me" update.

On October 1, our whole family switched to a gluten-free diet to benefit Riley. He doesn't have Celiac's or anything like that, but there is some theory behind gluten-intolerance affecting behavior. At first, I secretly wished it would fail. Being the baker that I am, flour and other gluten products are my life! Not to mention, I'm from Texas and we learn to fry right around the time we learn to walk... I was hard-pressed to think of a meal for my family that didn't include some sort of gluten product- in just about every portion! Now I sit lazily on my couch before you, posting that WE ARE SUCCEEDING (and even better) It's not that bad. We eat so much more fresh fruit and veggies, and I pack Riley's lunch everyday, plus send him some special snacks for kids birthday parties, etc. Our next step is to cut out any red dye number 40 starting November 1. That shouldn't be hard, because other than Jello, which comes in so many other colors that red won't be missed, I can't think of a single thing we eat that's colored anymore. So, huge success there.

On the weight loss front, I have been losing, very slowly- 15 pounds in 3 months is in no way motivational. It's just downright frustrating. In a moment of weakness at the end of September (maybe on my birthday when I realized that 27 years of my life are gone-- and THIS, this life, this body, THIS-- is all I have to show for it) I went to the doctor for some help: a miracle drug- straight crack, whatever. Luckily my doctor wasn't feeling my frustration. He insisted that I see a nutritionist and physiologist before I can even think about a drug.
On Thursday I kept my appointments, thinking, "I'm eating the right ways, exercising regularly... My body is just destined to look like this." But the nutritionist totally changed my mind. He took my numbers based on this magic scale, and I'm carrying around 75 pounds of non-muscle weight! HOLY CRAP RIGHT?!! He says 35 of that needs to go. I also had my workouts tweaked. Weight lifting was removed completely, and now I'm only doing cardio for 1 hour a day. Yesterday I did 45 minutes of cardio, but today I surprised even myself and was able to work out for an hour and a half.

But better than any of that, I've realized my problem. I've always seen the workout as something I have to do. Now I know that it's not what I should do, but rather who I should be. I should be the woman who is as dedicated and faithful to herself and her body as she is her marriage. So, with that, a paradigm shift, and a whole new outlook :o). I weigh in again on the Thursday after next. We'll see how it goes!

Hey Pumpkin!

2009-09-24T09:43:00.000-07:00

We took a trip to the pumpkin patch with or church group this weekend. A few people were nice enough to snap some pictures of us since I didn't take my camera :o).

I even heart old postsecret.

2009-09-15T13:39:00.001-07:00

Going Stir Crazy, Stir Stir Stir Crazy

2009-08-29T20:42:00.000-07:00

With all four of us under the weather (understatement of the year alert) for the past couple of weeks, I have only left the house for mandatory reasons, so as not to expose others to my contagious children. Tonight it's taken it's toll on me. So what's a girl to do when she's feeling totally stir crazy, but can't leave because Strep Throat Princess and Pink Eye Sinus Face are all sleeping? Well stir of course... Stir up some delish little pumpkin chocolate chip muffins! mmmmm....

And these little gems are pretty healthy, with no oil (except to grease the pan, or you can use paper liners), and only egg whites. Not only is pumpkin loaded with vitamin A and antioxidant carotenoids, particularly alpha and beta-carotenes, it’s a good source of vitamins C, K, and E, and lots of minerals, including magnesium, potassium, and iron.

Riley asked if I would make these for his birthday! YES! But just don't tell you're friends that they're good for you!

It's All About You, Riley

2009-08-26T12:05:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry son, for the things I've made it.
But it's all about you, Riley.

Yes, those are adapted song lyrics. Sometimes random thoughts come to me when I'm singing along to a song, and it turns into a whole blog worth of emotion. Today I was cleaning Riley's room- covered in Legos, listening to some music that keeps me motivated, mostly Christian, with some Sugarland, Texas Country and older country mixed in. And while I was picking up these legos, I was so very careful to keep intact the little built airplanes, submarines, and space cruisers that he had so tediously built. My son is a complex child. He will spend hours getting his little ships just right, then complain about the wasted time. It always puzzles me that he complains over spending time doing something he loves: building. Then I realized that I do the same thing. I complain about all the time it takes to clean up after the three little ones who run around here, when I love being with my kids. And while I would much rather spend time playing or talking with my kids, it's important that they see I will serve them too. I have a heart of service... After all, I'm going to be a social worker. I need to take the time to appreciate the opportunity to serve my children.

After I finished with the legos (and wiped away my tears of realization), I looked across his graveyard of toys in his toy box. Thousands of dollars worth of toys, literally. I could probably pick ten that he actually likes. Among the dust collectors, his football, soccer shin guards, race cars, car tracks, and everything that boys like. Yes, Riley is a boy, but he's not THAT kind of boy. He's a video game, legos, telescope, multiplication table, globe, pokemon card loving kind of boy. Why do always ask him to participate in activities that I think he will enjoy, rather than allow him to spend his time enjoying the things he so obviously loves? It's so obvious that my son is not the next linebacker for the NFL. He's the next computer software engineer for Apple, or the next AIDS researcher to build on a cure for Africa. I promise Riley, I'm going to see you for who you are from this moment forward. And we will create a childhood experience for you that is reflective of all of the beautiful gifts and powers that you, individually possess, because you are not every other boy. You are my son, and it's all about you.

Happy Happy Fives, Happy Fives

2009-08-21T12:06:00.000-07:00

1. I just jumped on the trampoline with Asher, like I did when I was a kid. My neighbors probably think I'm nuts, but it was SO much fun! Sometimes you just have to step out of the box, you know?
2. I bought a new washer this week (by default, I had to), and was able to give my old (18 month old) one to a family with 4 kids that should be able to fix it.
3. Asher is finally feeling better, and slept all night last night. YAY!
4. Riley and Grace started school, and they both LOVE it... so far.
5. I thought my power was going to be off at noon tomorrow for six to eight hours, but it turns out I was wrong, and only a small section of housing will be affected, which is NOT my section! Thankful for little blessings.

You know you live in a weird place when...

2009-08-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

- Every time you drive home (on base) you pass a huge white sign, hand painted in red, large, mixed capital and lower case letters, "ThE WhiTe hOrsE iS oLd NOt dEaD lEt heR NaP."

-Twice in one day, you see two different people in public with a urinary catheter, and their collection bag (full) visible.

-It's not uncommon to see an old man with a metal detector in the middle of a torn up road/construction area looking for buried treasures.

I mean really, who wouldn't want to be stationed here??

What's Wrong With Me??

2009-08-10T11:08:00.000-07:00

I listened to this song today (not for the first time) and cried like a baby.

HAPPY FRIDAY FIVES!

2009-08-07T18:22:00.000-07:00

So I missed last week, but I wasn't any less thankful, just busy :o).

This week I am thankful for:

1. My season of daycare has ended! If blogs had sound, you would have just heard me say, "HALLELUJAH!"
2. I had creative time in the kitchen this week for a baby shower, and I get more for a church social on Sunday.
3. My mom's flight has been booked for her visit, beginning the 15th. We're all super excited!
4. Tomorrow is Give Parents A Break again! WOOOHOOO!
5. After six months of waiting (and waiting and waiting), our fence application was approved, and we were able to have a fence erected for the back yard- next come the trampoline and swing set!

The picture is the top tier of the cake I made for the baby shower. The bottom was basically the same but with bigger dots, and I wrote on the cake.

Greener Grass

2009-07-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

My Sweet Riley,

Today was a tough day for you. You learned a very difficult lesson, and I wish it was a lesson you would never have had to learn. Children can be so cruel, and your little life has not been easy. Sometimes I forget that you've only been on this earth six little years because you are such a wise, wise little boy.

You spent this morning playing with your friend down the road, then came back early together, and played with him at home. After lunch, you both went back outside to play, and another friend joined you. Your friend decided he only wanted to play with the other friend, and not you. Riley, you walked your little self in the door, and immediately began to sob. Oh honey, you were devastated. You just couldn't understand why your friend would betray you, or why you weren't chosen. You immediately began to question everything about yourself, and doubt your worth, or your ability to contribute to the friendship. You sobbed that your friend didn't like you, or want to play with you anymore because you're a stupid kid, and you can't run fast, and you can't ride your bike. You said you don't give him enough stuff, and you're not nice enough.

Oh Riley, I wanted so badly to take away your pain, and ban that boy from our house forever. But I know the truth. I know your friend likes you. I know that he's your best friend right now, and I know that you have a heart of service, kindness, and loyalty, so this cut you so deeply. But your friend make a classic mistake, my love. He failed to see the amazing connection that he has with you because another friend caught his attention. Right now, Riley, it's toys and bikes, but someday it will be so much more. And there will be times that you find you will be in your friends shoes, and you'll want to leave behind what is comfortable for something shiny and new.

I hope you remember, sweet boy, how it felt to walk all the way home with such a heavy heart. I hope that you carry that memory, and that you always consider it before you hurt someone else. As I held you, and wiped away your tears, I explained to you all of your wonderful qualities, and let you know what an amazing little boy I think you are. I also prayed that you would be comforted by my love, and that your friend would understand just how badly he hurt you.

The chances are, Riley, he will knock on our door early in the morning, and will want you to play with him. I know you, my kind and loving child. You will instantly forgive his indiscretion in exchange for his friendship. I am so proud of you, my little love. I know you have so much to offer the world, and I know it's times like these that mold you into the amazing man you are destined to be. I love you, Riley.

Love,
Mommy

Mental Note: Feather Blankets and Sleepovers DON'T Mix

2009-07-25T11:02:00.000-07:00

Riley had a friend sleep over last night. The night was rough, because they were both really tired and cranky, but neither wanted to be the first to fall asleep. SO, I separated them, and out they went. Good times- Riley likes to sleep TOUCHING me... I hope his future wife is "physical touch" in terms of love language... I am NOT. I'm a "Gifts and Acts of Service," so the TOUCHING is not so appealing to me, but I digress.

Before Riley came into my bed last night, he decided he wanted to snuggle with the cute little crib sized feather comforter that my aunt gave me a couple of years ago. No problem... Go watch cartoons in your room, snuggle and FOR THE LOVE OF PETE fall asleep! The feather blanket became a distant memory over the course of the night, and apparently ended up UNDER The bed (Riley's bed has rollers on it). When I asked the boys to clean the room this morning- Riley comes running upstairs in a huge cloud of white snow, with a soft white flowing cape. "Mom!!! Look what happened!!!" The bed rolled on top of the blanket, and the kids pulled too hard (instead of asking for help, right?) and ripped, spewing white down feathers EVERYWHERE... And since he brought it upstairs to show me, I now have a snowy down covered floor- everywhere.

The upside: Saturday is floor cleaning day, and the feathers stick to any sort of grime, so at least I know where to focus my cleaning the most...

I'm not convinced that I'm going to miss this someday....

FRIDAY MEANS HAPPY FIVES!

2009-07-24T10:17:00.000-07:00

And I have OH SO MUCH to be thankful for these days!

1. I'm going to group all of the transformation and searching I've been doing into one of my happy fives this week... I'm so thankful that I have the opportunity and support to change my life!

2. This week, we had TWO, count 'em 2!! days that didn't make triple digits! WOOHOO!

3. I turned a something that really bothered me into something good this week. A few weeks ago, an adult called Grace a "mexican monkey," which really upset me. He didn't directly say it to her, but his daughter let me know that her dad thought that- which was enough for me to go over the edge. Grace is half hispanic, but not monkey resembling in any fashion. Anyway, this week, Grace and I made monkey bread, and I let my anger and borderline hatred burn in the oven. The kids devoured the whole ring of bread in one day!

4. I talked to Carl today, after a couple of days of silence... Just reassuring to know that he's okay.

5. After a birthday party at Pump It Up this past weekend, I think I found the venue for Grace's birthday party in November. The kids can have fun without making my house a complete mess! Word.

So this is the plan...

2009-07-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

And I'm sticking to it!

To tackle the physical side of my discontent, I'm going to follow the Body for Life program as closely as humanly possible. While I did find the first chapter of the book kinda cheesy, and I think the website seems like one big fat infomercial, I think that may be because I've taken every class but one that Texas Tech University offers in the art of persuasion, so most of the tactics don't appeal to me (no clue where Riley gets his elitism...). Anyway, Body for Life is not a diet- in the usual terms. While most people say that "eating right and exercising" are the keys to being healthy and losing weight, no one really explains how to do that. Sure, it seems easy right? We all learned the food pyramid in grade school (btw, it's been updated), so we should know these things right? Well I pride myself in knowing some of what I should... but when it comes down to whether peanut butter is "eating right," really, I'm confused... It's a protein... yes? But what about the fat and oils? Could it be considered my lipid too?? SO Body for Life (herein referred to as BfL) teaches the reader HOW to eat right and exercise in an effective manner. It's meant to be a 12 week jump-start program, but you can stay on it forever, because it's just feeding your body the right way, and working out as necessary.

This is what really sold me on the program (besides Carl, who's been successful in the past with BfL): You have to make a tangible list of your goals, and behaviors to read every morning and every evening. It's like a little shoulder angel on the refrigerator for me!

Step 1: Make the decision to change.

And I make the decision to change.

Step 2: Identify individuals reasons for change, and write them down.

1. My kids deserve a mom with more energy, who enjoys them and life more.
2. My husband deserves a wife who is more active than just handing over the kids when he gets home.
3. I'm not satisfied with where I am, physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, so thing HAVE to change.

Step 3: Focus on your future vision.

Focused. It includes being happier, healthier, more enjoyable to be around, having no debt a BS in Social Work, and most importantly, being spiritually sound.

Step 4: Dream of what you would like to achieve within 12 weeks, and transform that into five goals.

1. I would like to lose 30 pounds.
2. I would like to close my daycare by August 18th.
3. I would like to begin my spiritual journey no later than September 1.
4. I would like to volunteer in my children's classes once every two weeks, beginning when school starts August 19th.
5. I would like to put a specific amount of money every month towards debt. That amount is TBD with the husband.

Step 5: Identify 3 unautorized patterns of action that may hold you back from reaching these goals.

1. Cheating on my plan of diet and exercise.
2. Feeling guilty over not watching other's children when they need me.
3. Buying material objects for my children and myself that are unnecessary.

Step 6: Identify 3 new patterns of action that will help you reach your goals.

1. Stick to the plan!
2. Use the amount of money set aside every month towards debt, instead of finding new "necessities."
3. Let adults fend for themselves, and realize that I'm not the world's keeper!

And the final step (because all good things come in 7's) 7: Read what you've written first thing in the morning and again at night each and every day of the twelve week program.

OK... So that's what I have come up with! I am SUPER excited! I'll update with my plan of physical action once I formulate it. That will probably be tomorrow. Three posts in one day seems desperate, yes??

And it's not even noon yet...

2009-07-22T10:58:00.000-07:00

So far today, I've bribed Grace into doing things she doesn't want to at least 5 times with the phrase, "If you don't, then you must not be old enough for preschool..." or some variation of it.

I've told Riley that jack should never be used as a verb, as in "I'm going to jack you up." OR "I'm going to jack your eyes." Video games much??

I've used the "oldie but goodie" phrase, "I'm not your maid, I'm your mother."

I've explained why Cinnamon toast can't be eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I've pulled a barbie brush out of Asher's diaper.

I've had about seven cups of "Stirbricks" (invisible drinks from Grace) but not one REAL cup of coffee....

I've explained the difference between "family kisses" and regular kisses.

I've told a four year old that she's too young to consider marriage.

And I've told Riley to quit being an elitist. That part requires explanation.

Madilynn is a sweet girl. A sweet daycare girl, who has a big heart, and is very socially advanced for her age. However, she's just begun to learn her ABC's, makes several grammatical mistakes, probably on the level of a 2.5 year old, in that capacity. There's nothing mentally wrong with her, but we are all given gifts, and academics seem like they won't be her strong suit- but I could be wrong. Some children just take a lot longer to blossom than others.

Anyway,this is what transpired:
Maddy to Riley: I think you're cute. I want to kiss you, and I want to marry you.

Riley to Maddy: Me and my dad don't like stupid girls, so I will never marry or kiss you.

Me to Riley: It's "My dad and I," but that's an awful thing to say. Stop being an elitist. Maddy is a smart girl, but you're right about not kissing or thinking about marrying at this point.

Me to Maddy: Maddy the only boy you should give kisses is your dad (she has no brothers), and you're too young to consider marriage. That's what grown ups think about after college, and you have a long way to go until then.

Oh the joys....

Who AM I??

2009-07-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This will be a serious post, that has nothing to do with my children. Brace yourself.

Over the past few weeks, I've been struggling. You wouldn't have known it, and I wouldn't have told you, even if you had asked... And some of you have. The root of my struggle, surprisingly is not Carl leaving for Iraq, (although that has prompted my inward examination), but the realization that I AM an adult. I should have known this.... I have three children, car payments, bills, buy my own groceries, make my own schedule, and carry all the burdens associated with the aforementioned facts. But as I swiftly approach 30, I keep catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and thinking, "Who is this older, fatter, unattractive version of who I used to be??" Not only that, but I find myself fussing at the kids over actions beyond their control, and I think, "Who is this woman fussing at my kids? Who gave her the right?? They're just kids." It's becoming more and more evident in my daily life, that I don't like the adult that I find myself becoming. I am overwhelmed, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. So, Carl and I have discussed it, and I'm doing what I do best. I'm organizing, starting with the basics: my life.

A. My body: I will no longer feed my emotions, and carry excess baggage in the form of pounds. I don't believe I was given this body to treat it like a landfill. I'm ashamed that I've done so. Because Carl is gone, and I feel like I would be most successful with regular accountability, I will be using my blog as such. I think I will be much more successful if I have to record my journey for someone else to read. I promise, that I will be honest and transparent, otherwise this will fail. Readers, please keep me encouraged, and hold me accountable. I will be posting my goals soon.

B. My spirit: It's so easy to get down on myself. I know that all things are possible, but I want all things to be possible right now with as little effort as possible, and that isn't working for me or my family. I'm going to follow a set Christian path of self examination, although I haven't found it yet, and I'm completely open to suggestion if you have used one personally. I am guilty of becoming complacent and disgruntled, and I refuse to do that anymore.

C. My Emotional Well Being: This area is probably going to be the easiest for me- or at least it appears that way now. I have too many irons in the fire. Between the 60-75 hours a week I put into work, the 25-30 hours a week I put into school (obviously my hours overlap), my kids, my home, staying involved in my community (which has been regrettably poor), there is barely enough sleep or shower time left, let alone time for me. With Carl here, the burden was heavy but manageable. Now, I have come to the realization that I just cannot do everything I have committed myself to doing. While I feel like this is a huge failure on my part, after talking with Carl, I am going to forfeit my daycare license until he comes home, for sure, and maybe permanently. I have enough kids- I don't want to raise everyone else's kids too.

So that's my spiel. I hope that those of you reading this can be open and honest with me, and keep me encouraged, yet accountable, because I need it!

And as a little treat, for being so patient and making it through the text, this is going to be my "before" picture:

It's okay to laugh at the fatty pictured above. She won't exist for too long. I hope to be posting a great "After" picture in about six months.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

2009-07-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

And if you try, sometimes you find you get what you need. Thank you Rolling Stones. I will now totally trivialize your song/poetry by applying it to my bedspread.
A few posts ago, I mentioned that I bought a new duvet cover from Overstock. This is what I was expecting, in honey:

When I pulled it out of the packaging, it was not exactly what I expected. In fact, it looks a little like someone threw up henna tattoos all over my queen size bed. However, the quality is better than I expected, so I will keep it. The end product, on my bed (yes, I have turquoise walls):

Still, a little disappointed, in a weird, hotel room sorta way...

My Fave Postsecret In A LONG time!

2009-07-18T23:08:00.001-07:00

I heart this:

Will you love me when I piss on the seat, dear? I already love you bald...

Happy Fives, Love

2009-07-17T21:06:00.001-07:00

Has it been a week already?? Friday is here, and so it's time for Happy Fives! After a week like this one, I would LOVE the opportunity to release five bright balloons into a grey sky!

1. I haven't had a daycare kid since Tuesday, which has given me a TON of time to spend (and enjoy) my own kids.

2. Grace had gymnastics camp this week, and for the first time ever, I've seen her keep a smile on her face for an hour straight. She was born to be around other people.

3. Asher has known how to shake his head no for a long time, but this week, he learned how to nod his head yes this week. He still gets confused and will start to shake when he means to nod, or nod when he means to shake, but he catches himself... His head is so big that his little nods are overly exaggerated. It melts my heart.

4. Riley is having a sleepover at his friend Jared's house tonight. I'm very glad that he has a friend that he connects well with on many levels.

5. A very wonderful woman that goes to the church we've found in Roseville is organizing a school supply collection to ship to Carl in Iraq for needy Iraqi children. If I get the okay from the hubby, I may post the information on my blog for anyone else who wants to support the cause. This woman has gone so far out of her way and above and beyond all expectation to make me and my family feel welcome in a new place. I am SO thankful for her :o).

And that's my HAPPY HAPPY FIVES! HAPPY FIVES!

I got an award!

2009-07-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

Thanks to trishiekoh for the lemonade award! Now I get to pass it on, and that makes me excited. I actually learned how to place tags in text (not difficult, but I overcomplicate things), so now I can participate! I will pass this on to The Pray Family Blog, because it's super cute, and fits the theme with two kiddos under the age of 5!

Grace's Homonyms

2009-07-16T13:28:00.000-07:00

Gracie, in classic three year old fashion, gets words twisted, and I thought I'd share a couple that I love:

Pineapple to most, Apple Pie to Grace

Forehead to most, Whore fed to Grace

The Times I Savor...

2009-07-14T13:20:00.000-07:00

I've noticed there are a few times a day that I really, really (really, really, really) appreciate:

1. Naptime
2. Bedtime
3. "Play at the neighbor's house" time
4. "Totally enveloped in a Disney movie" time
5. School time
6. Quiet coloring time
7. Mealtime at separate tables
8. "Let's Play Library" time
9. "Play in your room" time
10. Bath time, sometimes

I'm beginning to detect a theme... Oh sweet, boring silence, why must you always play hard to get?

When you don't have anything nice to say,

2009-07-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

blog blog another day. Today I'm in a mood... Sorry, no blog. I just wanted to let those of you who read my blog know that Carl started one.

Postsecret Mental Note:

2009-07-11T21:46:00.001-07:00

Be mean in line for ice cream for the kids.... Or be nice, depending on whether they really need the bigger scoop! I think it goes without saying that I'm a huge Postsecret fan!

Happy Fives

2009-07-10T14:33:00.000-07:00

This is a selfish blog. I have a bad case of the blahs, so today I am writing my happy fives to make myself feel better...

Five awesome things from this week:

1. I danced with my kids to worship music. I love being thankful for them while they're having fun.
2. I snuggled with Riley on the couch for an hour last night. He makes my heart happy.
3. Tomorrow is Give Parents a Break day, so the kids are going to the CDC (that's Child Development Center, not Center for Disease Control) from 9am to 3pm. The plan is to clean out closets and bake all day.
4. Grace got the sweetest card in the mail from Trishiekoh. Thank you so much! It is DARLING! Will frame it and add pictures next month when I buy a new camera. Carl took ours to Iraq.
5. I bought this new duvet cover in honey for our bed since Riley ruined our other (expensive) one with puke...

Top 10 for a Top 10

2009-07-09T14:04:00.001-07:00

OK, so these are the top ten reasons I LOVE being a Mom:

10. Who doesn't want a mini-me? Exhibit A. Grace.
9. Baking is WAY more fun with an assistant!
8. Kids clothes are way cheaper than driving to the strip in Lubbock for booze.
7. Halloween candy: There's no way on earth a kid can eat all that candy... Mom to the rescue!
6. Birthday parties: Late night binge drinking parties have nothing on one of my themed birthday parties... Yes, I am that woman.
5. I love when my kids learn something new, and across their face, comes an, "OH! I get it!" look.
4. Christmas morning: Giving is WAY better than receiving!
3. Kids say the darnedest things! Like today, Riley was trying to convince me to give him cereal for dinner tonight, and he says, "Come on Mom, the blue Trix swirls have mouthwatering flavor!"
2. I'm in charge! Amusement parks are way more fun when you're an adult deciding where to go and what to do. Also, I choose the hair, the clothes the home decor... I get to play house all day long, and dress my dollies!
1. HUGS AND KISSES! How could the love of a child NOT be number 1??

And these are the top ten reasons I have to make a list to remind myself of why I love being a mom:

10. Feet dragging in the stroller! Come on- it ruins your shoes, hurts your feet, and slows us down.. Seriously? Seriously...
9. Little ears are always listening, so my language must be clean and sober. It's not always easy to do!
8. Clabbered milk sippy cups... Anyone who has ever forgotten one when it slid under the front seat of the car knows what I mean... And the price of sippy cups has steadily climbed over the past 6 years, so throwing them away isn't an option anymore.
7. Dirty hand grime is everywhere! Remote controls, Xbox 360 controllers, Doorknobs, brush handles, my macbook... You name it, I've found hand grime on it.
6. Poopy diapers. Enough said.
5. Filling our forms for EVERYTHING. I'm considering making a stamp with my address on it. Every silly form that the kids are involved in has to have a TON of repeat information. I would guess I spend about 2 hours a week on forms.
4. Dora, Dora, Dora, Diego, Kai-lan, or whoever else they come up with... Hannah Montana, and all of the other kid idols. I like iCarly though. She's cool.
3. The "Can I have" and "OOOH I want" in the grocery store... Can we just get out please??
2. "Mom can I have this (imagine random food item)" just to find it discarded half eaten ten minutes later.
1. Cleaning up messes and rooms that I didn't make dirty.

This post's gone to the toilet, since nothing else did

2009-07-08T07:20:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I became a brand new person. I have heard other military wives talk about how they change when their husband leaves, about how they go from scared of daddy longlegs, to wrestling tarantulas. I always took it with a grain of salt until now. I'm going to go a bit further, though. I'm going to include all single moms in the post, because they don't get a break when their husbands come home.
So most people know that Carl left for Iraq. It's not a secret that being the only ringleader of my circus is not one of my favorite things to do, but nevertheless, I find reasons to look forward to it, and make it exciting and positive for the kids. Since Carl has been gone, I've been praying for things to keep me busy, so I don't stop and get sad in front of my kids- keeping up my best poker face.
Yesterday was a busy day. I cleaned all day, while watching 6 children, cooking, finishing up some work for class, completing paperwork for my business, and washing all the dirty clothes. I neatly stacked all of the clothes in my room on my bed to put them away after my daycare kids left, and my kids got up from their naps. Instead, during my kids naps, I sat down to do some homework, and realized my computer was dead, and the dog had chewed through the cord to my charger. Not only could I not finish my homework or access the internet, but I couldn't communicate with Carl, since he's beyond phone reception at this point, and relying solely on email.
So I did what any mom of 3 would do: throw all three of my kids into the car, and run to the Apple store 45 minutes away. Spending 75 dollars on a charger is a scary thing to do when you aren't sure how much money your husband may need on his journey around the world. But I managed to run through Burger King for the kids, and make it to the mall (where the Apple store is located) by 6. After finding the store, I walked in, and began to search for my device. I couldn't find it anywhere. Then a little Asian girl approached me (18ish, cute as can be), and helped me out. The employees at the Apple store check you out right then and there with little scanner things, and email you the receipt. I did not have the time to marvel over their innovation, but being the knowledgeable retail consumer and former manager that I am, I would have otherwise. It was pretty awesome. I vaguely remember Riley mentioning that he had to pee inside the store, but let's be honest, I was thinking about getting in and out, and not stopping anywhere else, especially this cute little children's boutique called Janie and Jack- too cute. SO we get to the car, and everyone piles in, except Riley, who I notice is still standing by the car with his hand on his crotch- pinching it to hold in the pee. OH MY GOSH! I totally forgot that he had to go pee! This is why we have to LISTEN to our kids, and not just "uh huh, uh huh" our way through life! Ok, so I just loaded all three kids, and I'm in way too much of a hurry to unload them all again and fight an unusually crowded mall on a Tuesday evening, but he says he can't hold it until the grocery store... I immediately begin looking around for a tree or something- but the mall is new construction, so no such luck. Suddenly I remember my mom joking with my brother about making him pee in a bottle when were kids... Hmmm...... Can I really get away with that? Do I even have a bottle in my car? Wait, yes. I got Riley a cream soda yesterday, and he finished it. Surely this isn't the first time he's removed his own trash from the car... And through the back of my Pacifica, I see the clear bottle, label removed, lid intact, sitting in the cup holder. I think it had a beam of light shining down on it, and a few musical notes filled the air, but I'm not sure that anyone else experience that but me. I looked at Riley with the straightest face I could muster, and told him that sometimes we have to do things that are unconventional in desperate situations, then shared my plan- fill that bottle with urine. He looked at me like I had lost it for a moment, and most likely, he was right... Then the look of mischievousness flooded his face, and he got too it. One trucker bomb later, we were on our way. I think it's the only time in his life that Riley thought, "My mom is cool."
Anyway, back to praying for busy work... I guess God took my request literally, because Asher woke up in the middle of the night at about 1:15. Then at 1:30, I heard that distinct coughing-puking combo sound coming from Riley's room. To my shock hand horror, he's puked all over his bed, sheets, floor, and remote control. Let's just all take a minute to savor and remember the smell of 2 am puke. Yummo. Oh, I forgot to mention that by the time we got home, I bathed the kids and dog, I was too tired to put up all of that clean laundry so I stacked it up on the floor on Carl's side of the bed, since he's not going to need that walkway clear tonight, or for the next six months for that matter. Anyhow, I let Riley climb into bed and snuggle up while I cleaned up his room enough to go back to bed. An hour later, he leaned over Carl's side of the bed, and puked again- all over that whole pile of clean clothes. I cleaned up all of that mess, took the laundry back in the laundry room to be rewashed, and climbed into bed just in time to hear Asher cry again. So I got him a bottle, and went back to bed. Another hour later, Riley pukes again, this time only into the bowl that I've place on the floor, so I clean up the puke, and him, and go back to sleep. Five o'clock came really early this morning. Poor Riley is still puking, but God gave me plenty to do didn't He? I was thinking more along the lines of new recipes, or random emails from old friends, but I guess I should have been more specific! So today I have a TON of laundry to wash, a sick kid to tend to, and I'm sitting her blogging! I better get started!

Postsecret, Love

2009-07-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

I'm a huge fan of Postsecret.com and I occasionally post one that really appeals to me, but this week, to my delight, there were 2 that I LOVED!

This reminds me of my mom, only not so old! I'm proud of you too Mom!

And this one is just inspirational. Thanks Postsecret, for brightening up my food-poisoned Sunday morning!

Summertime Fun, In the Key of Pink and Messy

2009-07-02T12:31:00.000-07:00

This week has been a trying one, to say the least, but I've got something to share for each kid:

Riley: He LOVES watermelon. I mean, like every time we go to the grocery store, he asks if watermelon is in season, and if I will buy some. Usually he eats it until he can't eat anymore, then the rest gets thrown away. Carl and Grace don't eat watermelon, and Asher and I like it, but don't eat a ton like Riley. Anyway, for a couple of days, every time Riley ate watermelon, he covered his hair in the juice. I tried everything I could to make him stop the dirtiness. I even told him sugar ants would attack him if he didn't stop putting the juice in his hair. Then finally it dawned on me that he was, "styling his hair with water(melon)." Oh my goodness... I had to explain that while watermelon has a high water content, the liquid is sugary juice, not actually H2O. I'm hoping he doesn't do it again now...

Grace: She got a new book called "Pinkalicious" from Aunt Rhiannon when we were in Oregon. Grace LOVES pink- anything pink. The little girl in the book eats so much pink that she turns pink all over. While the book is ADORABLE, using such words as "Pinkerella" and "Pinkerbell" I didn't think she would take to it so much. The story goes on to say the little girl has to go to the doctor, and eat nothing but green stuff to get rid of her pinkititis. Grace is now convinced (by no fault of mine) that she MUST eat her green vegetables to avoid turning pink. Last dinner time, she ate her green beans, and Riley's green beans too! Even better than the fact that she's eating green beans, she is such a delightful little girl :o).

Asher: He is growing into his own. Every day he surprised me with new accomplishments. Yesterday he threw trash away, picking up the trash can lid and everything. He also helps me load the washer and dryer, can climb up and down the stairs pretty well (with close supervision), closes doors that are open, and holds his own against the big kids. However, he regressed in one respect: Asher has never been a pacifier baby, but lately, he picked up the pacifier! I have to admit, it's incredibly cute- I just hope he doesn't get too attached!

Happy Happy Fives, Happy Fives

2009-06-27T22:52:00.000-07:00

So I haven't done happy fives in forever, but I'm making a comeback! There were a few pink tulips in my black and white field :o).

This week, five wonderful things that occurred in daily life:

1. I helped with a garage sale for Women's Bible Study at Creekside (the church we now attend, when Asher doens't have the chicken pox). It was nice to build community and raise money at the same time.
2. I made chocolate amish friendship bread! Yummy!
3. I realized my children won't get to see Texas fireflies in June regularly, and the happy part is, I'm okay with that.
4. We managed to make it home from vacation in Oregon in only 14 hours, even with the 2 hour traffic delay in Portland.
5. Riley and I had a long conversation about being a good influence vs. letting another child be a bad influence on him. I think he understands.

Oregon Trip

2009-06-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

Carl walking with Asher in Carl's parent's backyard.

Gracie cheesin' for the camera

Carl with his parents, Mistie and Wally, and sisters, Sharon and Rhiannon

Carl and Asher again

The WHOLE family

Our family, who is that fatty?

Celia, and cousin Maya, playing with the squirrel

Grace, rockin' the one bow. We couldn't find the other one...

Riley, with cousin William, playing Lego Batman on the DS

Asher, because his future's so bright he has to wear shades :o)

TuTu Cute!

2009-06-04T16:22:00.000-07:00

Soon I will make this for Grace's wall. I'm hoping it comes out just as nice, because they retail for about 60 dollars. Isn't it adorable?! If I like it, maybe I'll make one for the niece too!

Heeeyyyy Miiiisssttteeerrr Wiiiiilllllsssoonnn!

2009-05-30T19:05:00.000-07:00

Over the course of the past week, I've gotten 3 calls from Riley's teacher about his behavior, have had to track him down in the neighborhood after he left the yard twice, have had to threaten physical punishment for dumping out drinks in the t-ball dugout, and have had about 10 "Come to Jesus" conversations. It's not that he doesn't know what to do, and what not to do. He understands the expectations perfectly. He just wants to do what he wants to do, regardless of the consequences.

After Riley's final t-ball game last night, we were driving to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things we needed. On the way there, I turned back to see why Riley was so quiet, and much to my horror, Riley has a paperclip, tied to the end of a piece of fishing line, swinging it around like a lasso. It was in that moment that I realized I'm raising Dennis the Menace. At least Dennis the Menace loved his mom right??

That...Determined...Face

2009-05-27T15:07:00.000-07:00

A friend shot this picture of Riley at his last Tee-Ball game. I love it.

I'm There

2009-05-23T21:12:00.000-07:00

You know that commercial for a financial planning company where there's a red dot, and each person is passing through a certain stage in their life? There's a guy getting married, and the overhead voice says, "Where the brown futon can't come along," and the groom says, "I'm there," while standing on the red dot. Then there's a couple having their first baby... and so on.

Well I'm at this place where I've found things which once meant so much to me, are totally useless now. I'm where some people's opinion would have been really hurtful, just doesn't affect me. And as weird as that sounds, I'm totally happy about it... Where's my red dot?

Can you handle it?

2009-05-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

I totally think that's true. But I think people use it in the wrong way. When someone's going through a storm of horrible things in their life, it's inevitable that a friend will throw out the "God never gives you more than you can handle," statement. And nothing could be more true. God never GIVES you more than you can handle. But sometimes, as humans, don't we CHOOSE to take on more than we can handle, and that's when we feel broken? I think friends should be saying, "God would never want you to handle all of this. He would want you to turn to him. So maybe you should evaluate the problems in your life, and give up the situations that you made the bad choice to take on, and rely on God to fix it." Am I way off base? I know this is a little deeper than my usual posts, but sometimes a saying really makes me think :o).

This post is in now way related to any situations in my life. I am actually very happy with our current situations. I am about to start classes again on Tuesday, while still working full time, and raising the kids (which includes extracurricular activities). Also, Carl leaves for Iraq in July, so I'll be managing all of this on my own for 6 months... But I think those who know me best, know that I will need encouragement, but will be fine. Thanks for hearing my rant!

My Blessings

2009-05-11T07:18:00.001-07:00

When I was younger (before 20 obviously) I said I never wanted children, and really, I didn't. Then I had Riley, and that changed. Then I had Grace, and more love. Then Asher, and my heart grew again. I can't imagine my life without my children now. They are my life. They make my life incredibly challenging, unbearably enjoyable (like that feeling when you ride an roller-coaster and you hit the first drop), and indescribably sweet. I learn something new from them everyday, and find new perspectives that enrich my life just when I least expect it. Children are a testament to God's grace in our lives. On this Mother's Day, I am thankful for my children as individuals, without whom, I would be a sub-par human being, much less a mother.

Peanut Butter Jelly with a BASEBALL BAT

2009-05-08T08:49:00.000-07:00

Riley's kindergarten class is hosting a "Mother's Day Tea Party" today. The kids will be making lunch for us: PB&J. I will take a moment to allow you to watch his favorite Peanut Butter and Jelly song, courtesy of Family Guy.

When Riley came home from school yesterday, he spewed a barrage of questions at me. "Mom, do you like peanut butter and jelly? With crust? Without crust? Lots of peanut butter? Lots of jelly? A little peanut butter? A little jelly? No peanut butter? Or no jelly? Normal peanut butter? Normal jelly?" He asks me this, all in one breath. Then, with the gleam of sophistication and accomplishment in his eye, he says, "Mom, I'm going to use a plastic knife. I'm not even nervous."

His random stream of peanut butter questions reminded me of the shrimp scene from Forest Gump.

Those two scenes sum up my afternoon yesterday...

I'll Fly Away...

2009-05-04T15:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I drove Grace to Roseville for a haircut. At a stop light, she noticed a little flock of birds taking off from a telephone wire. She got SO excited, and said, "Mommy!!!! Look at the biiiiiirds!!!!" She sat there watching them for a minute, then a silence fell over her, and her expression turned blank as we drove off. "Mommy," she said, "I want to be a bird. Why didn't you make me a bird?" So I tried to explain to her that God chose her to be a person, and that people can do lots of nice things for birds, but that I had no control over whether she became a bird or a human, because I am only capable of producing humans, with God's permission. She became very angry, and today, has still decided that she want's to be a bird. Riley has tried to set her straight, but he also has failed. Maybe I should have named her Robin.

Cake Pops, by popular demand

2009-04-30T15:49:00.000-07:00

Here is the recipe :o). They are super fun to make with your kiddos! Happy kitchen endeavors.

Cake Pops

1 Standard Recipe for chocolate cake (or 1 box mix)
1 cup (or 1 tub) cream cheese frosting
2 packages Chocolate melting discs (I like Wilton’s brand)
1 package of colored or white candy melting disks (again, Wilton’s)
wax paper
1 package of Lollipop sticks
1 package of treat wrappers
1 spool of ribbon
Plant foam or Styrofoam

Prepare your cake as usual, in a 9”x13” baking pan. Allow the cake to cool completely. Crumble the cake (discarding any hard corners or edges) into a very large mixing bowl, and add in the frosting. Mix the cake and frosting until it has an even consistency, and looks completely brown. Cover a cookie sheet with wax paper (or parchment paper if you prefer). Now make balls out of the cake mixture, and place them on the cookie sheet. Freeze for 1 hour.

Melt the chocolate discs in a safe bowl according to the package directions (and be careful not to overheat!). Place a lollipop stick into the first ball, and dip it in the melted chocolate. You may wait for the excess to drip off, or tap it with a spoon to speed up the process. Stick the cake pop into the Styrofoam to dry. Then you may melt the candy discs, and drizzle with a spoon or squirt bottle to decorate (I use a piping bag and tip, but I realize that’s not standard in every kitchen :o).

When the cake pops are dry, place a treat bag over the top, twist at the bottom, and tie with a little ribbon.

It is important to note that the cake pops will not be strong enough to adhere to the stick if they are not cold enough. If you notice halfway through that they are becoming unstable, you may want to freeze them a little longer before restarting.

Also, they set up best frozen, but aren’t very tasty until they thaw to room temperature.

School

2009-04-30T13:13:00.000-07:00

I'm starting again next month, majoring in human services/management. I haven't really said anything because I've been waiting for everything to go through, and I didn't want to get my hopes up, but it looks like I should be able to finalize the financial aspect in a few days, and then I'll be able to register, and begin on the 19th. Wish me luck!

A Good Glass of Wine...

2009-04-27T19:19:00.001-07:00

Today, Riley came home with a behavior referral (normal kid stuff), Grace decided her listening ears were broken, and Asher found his (extremely high pitched) screaming voice... Pair that with watching a kid who sent her infant sister to the ER (and her brother) until 1 am last night, and a daycare kid who pooped on the floor today, and I guess you could say I'm in need of a prayer... and a good glass of wine. I'm going for my favorite tonight: Bartenura Moscato. Did I mention that I had an inspection today? Word.

One that means a ton to me...

2009-04-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

We just made a donation that was very significant to us. I've been having doubts about it, but Carl is totally at peace with it. After a couple of days, I checked postsecret (on a day that I usually don't, because I'm a junkie and have to have my fix first thing Sunday morning). I found this:

Now I feel better. I think God is good, and calmed my worries.

Rushed post

2009-04-23T16:38:00.000-07:00

So these are from Easter and the San Antonio Zoo...
The first is Asher, staying true to his outfit.... Then Easter outfits, then the BEST APPLE PIE EVER! Ask me for the recipe. Then the San Antonio Zoo. We're doing great overall! Just super busy in the month of April. I have five million post ideas swimming around in my head, and will add a few soon!
Lynds

Just a little taste...

2009-04-12T14:01:00.001-07:00

I have a TON of blogging to do, but right now I need to clean. SO, being that it's Sunday, and postsecret rocks, here is my fave from today's post:

HAPPY EASTER! Check back for Texas, Asher's birthday party pictures and Easter updates!

Do you read postsecret?

2009-03-29T07:52:00.000-07:00

My friend Mels introducted me to postsecret. It's a book full of postcards that people have sent anonymously, containing their deepest secrets. Actually there are several books, as the trend has taken hold. Every Sunday, the post secret director adds new postcards to their blog. I heart Sundays and postsecret. I've included one of the less sensitive postcards, but most of them are much deeper. It's a neat social experiment. You can see them at www.postsecret.blogspot.com.

Asher First Haircut (Sorry it took so long. I forgot!)

2009-03-24T16:19:00.000-07:00

BEFORE HAIRCUT

AFTER HAIRCUT

I know, I miss it too... But he's still super adorable :o).

T Minus 7 Days!

2009-03-24T16:10:00.000-07:00

We'll be in Texas visting Grammy (and Kiki, and Oma, and EVERYONE else). The kids are SUPER excited. I'm making a "kisses jar." I'm putting 14 chocolate kisses in it (because I have 2 kids of eating age), and I'm going to let them eat one kiss each night. When the jar is empty, it's the day we go to Grammy's to get real kisses (on the cheek of course, if you know Grammy!). Wish us luck with the changing of planes in San Diego. We only have a 30 minute layover to get from one plane to the next with 3 kids under the age of 5! Call me crazy, but I'm SUPER excited to travel with them!

You know how.....

2009-03-19T07:56:00.000-07:00

there are some people that always complain no matter what? The sky is blue, but it's too bright outside.... Or the meal tastes great, but it's too big. Or the dog is cute, but creates allergies. Take the girl in this picture with balloons, for example. She could go give them to some kids, and put a smile on their faces, but instead, sits and sulks. I'm REALLY glad I'm not one of those people. Just sayin'...

Plain Jane

2009-03-16T15:19:00.000-07:00

Today I realized that I am plain... a plain Jane, and I'm okay with that. I wear solid colors, or stripes on a funky day. My hair is cut in an A-line, just like my skirts. I don't do trends, on me or my kids. I've worn Levi's for as long as I can remember. My make up is natural. I like apple pie the most. My perfect meal is steak, mashed potatoes with gravy, and green beans. I'm not silly or frivolous, but I love being me.

Happy Fives

2009-03-16T08:45:00.001-07:00

Time for my happy fives!!! This one will be for the weekend, since I didn't update :o).

1. Carl and I had the kids favorite babysitter come over on Saturday afternoon for some much needed adult time. We had PF Chang, and Starbucks. YUM!
2. I made the most perfect Cherry Pie on Saturday. It was gone in one day.
3. We found the most wonderful church that we've both decided is going to be our home. That's what got me through the long weeks in Oregon when Carl was stationed in Korea, so I'm super excited!
4. I'm going on the Women's Retreat at Lake Tahoe in April with the church! YAY for resorts in Tahoe City!!
5. And Asher slept ALL NIGHT last night! He's been well since we got a compound prescription from a local pharmacy. Apparently it's difficult to find a compound pharmacy, but the meds worked SO well for him. It's nice to have my happy baby back again for a while!
AND A BONUS 6!
6. Asher got his first haircut on Friday. Pictures to come!

Happy, Happy Fives... Happy Fives!

2009-03-10T13:57:00.001-07:00

The title was in my most sing-song voice :o).

So far today, I got a load of laundry done, and my one year old washing machine really ISN'T broken (If you have a new front loading washer, there is a small lent trap on the bottom right that should be cleaned out monthly :o). Also, Asher's test results came back (after a few weeks of awful b.m.'s we sent off some samples), and there is no black blood, which indicates intestinal bleeding, only a virus and an infection, which is treatable. I scored whole milk for 2.07 a gallon at Sam's (which ROCKS, because Asher is on half formula, half milk for the rest of the month until we switch him over completely next month). The dog has only had one accident inside today, and it was early morning, so more our fault than his. And... drum roll please... number five: I'm going to have a Gold Canyon Candle party, which I'm really excited about, because I love, LoVe, LOVE candles!!!

Happy Fives

2009-03-08T20:51:00.001-07:00

With my lack of sleep from the time change, and my overall exhaustion from cleaning (a friend's house for a final out inspection), I'm thinking a little "happy fives" might do the trick to improve my disposition.

Today, Grace snuggled with me in my bed while we watched Amazing Race; Asher laughed HUGE belly laughs when I tickled him today; I had a Subway Chicken Bacon Ranch sub (full of unhealthy goodness) which is my FAVE fast food (besides Whataburger, but there isn't one in California); I came home to clean bathrooms (both of them! Thanks Love!); and Riley told me that I'm the best mom in the world, even when I smell like Soft Scrub.

Who could be in a bad mood with a life like that??

Happy Fives

2009-03-06T08:27:00.000-08:00

I got this idea from Trishiekoh. The plan is to list 5 things that make you happy everyday, to promote overall positivity. After my last post, I think this brings a good balance :o).

Last night, Carl got up with Asher every time he woke up, so I had a full night of amazingly restful sleep. Laska has only had one inside accident since yesterday morning, so potty training is going well. Riley's teacher called to tell me that he had an AWESOME day at school. That's the first time she's called for something positive :o). I don't have any daycare kids today, so I have the whole day to bake a cake and try my hand at some gumpaste flowers! And finally, American Idol was on last night, and the judges let through a number 13 into the top 12, because he really deserved it. I appreciated it :o).

I don't know if I'll keep this up on a daily basis, but it definitely does help me feel content! This could be catching on!

Toddler's World

2009-03-06T08:15:00.001-08:00

Have you ever noticed that there are very few television shows or movies with toddler children? The kids are always 0-1 or 5+. There's a good reason for that. It's impossible to sensationalize the life of a toddler. Everything is about poop and pickles, or naps and naughty behavior. I'm a little disenchanted today, but I'm still appreciating the fact that my toddler hasn't cost $60 dollars for baseball registration, $50 for cleats, $35 for a bat, $35 dollars for a glove, the balls were added into another Walmart receipt, but they were less than $10, and we haven't even started playing yet. When did kids get so expensive. Maybe Carl is right, and we can't afford any more.... I've been looking into Essure, but I'm wondering if it will cause a huge weight gain too. I have a hard enough time battling that on my own. Essure is like a tubal ligation, but without the surgery. It's just as effective as a vasectomy, and even less invasive. We'll see.

These are not my kids, but I thought the photo emphasized my point well. I bet this mom knows all about that "too quiet" feeling.

Make Believe...

2009-03-04T09:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I let Grace run around the house in her Tinkerbell costume. She always begs me to wear it, but I've never allowed her to wear it all day, or even in public (except for Halloween). But yesterday, I allowed her to. That's a big thing for me. I've always been very particular about my kids being put together, like the perfect portrait for viewing- no spots, tears, or visible frivolity. I don't know what came over me, but it's still here. Today, she's pretending she's at the beach, in her bathing suit :o).

Cricket for MVP

2009-03-03T11:39:00.000-08:00

Cricket is a Cocker Spaniel in the running for MVP for Bissell, from the same breeder we bought Laska from. What a beauty. If you have a minute, there's no registration, and you can vote for her. It does require your email address, but it's only for verification, not for advertisements :o). Thanks!

Can I Just Say...

2009-02-27T10:24:00.000-08:00

Tagged!

2009-02-26T06:52:00.000-08:00

I got tagged by Trishiekoh (I still don't know how to do hypertext! Sorry!!!), and the rules are: to post the fourth picture in the fourth folder on my computer and write about it (how fun!). Oh, and you pass the tag along to others.

This is Grace, emptying out the goodies that Santa left in her stocking on Christmas morning. Notice the two pairs of jammies, pink shorts and short sleeved shirt over blue pants and long sleeved top. This is my fashionista, and the surprises never cease, not even on Christmas morning. She didn't go to bed this way the night before, but emerged this way in the morning :o). That's my Grace.

This is the life!

2009-02-25T13:44:00.001-08:00

After Laska gets a nap like this in, I get jealous. Then, I don't let him lick my toes :o).

Little Surprises

2009-02-25T07:57:00.000-08:00

Have you ever come across something that just stops you in your tracks? My cousin posted a picture of my dad's headstone. She's into cemeteries, history, etc., so it wasn't unusual for her to post a headstone photo, but it still left me dumbfounded. Now my mind is swirling with thoughts of his funeral, my family, my great grandmother (who went to his funeral) and passed away recently. Death can become such a preoccupation. Every day I wonder if he would be proud of the person I am, but then I know my dad would be proud of me just because I'm his, as I am with my children.
Then I think of my children, and all they've been through in their short little years. Grace is 3, and has lived in 3 different states, and that's just the start of it. It's weird how one thing that triggers a difficult memory starts a snowball effect, isn't it? Like letting one negative thought out breaks down a dam or at least opens the flood gates... So now, I'm going to patch that dam :o).

Picture Post

2009-02-17T09:56:00.001-08:00

Just thought I'd share a few pictures of the family since I'm too lazy (and sick) to actually blog.

Laska, the newest member of the clan.

Asher cheesin' like always!

One of Grace's few decent shots!

And Riley, at his best friend's birthday party!

Keeping up

2009-02-05T14:23:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking of adding "sent from my imail" to my signature line on my email. I think I'm the only one who doesn't have an iphone or and ipod touch these days :o). I don't know who these Joneses are, but they move to fast for me!

This morning...

2009-02-05T09:25:00.001-08:00

we had homemade blueberry waffles for breakfast! It's amazing how much better the day looks after a full night's rest. Asher slept all night last night, and I am SO appreciative!

25 Random Things About Me...

2009-02-03T10:00:00.000-08:00

I was tagged on Facebook to do this... But it took so much time that I couldn't let it sit on just one page. So, for the blog readers, here ya go!

1. I think dishes are the worst chore ever. I'd rather scrub toilets or put away clothes than do dishes, even if it's just loading the dishwasher. It used to gross me out when teachers cleaned overhead projectors while they were on too. I just don't like that messy, wet, mashed up look. It's gross.

2. I never thought I would have kids when I was in high school, now I don't want to stop having children. Carl is my voice of reason. We can't afford to feed, clothe or educate anymore. So I get my fix by owning a home daycare.

3. I'm really weak. Everyone thinks I'm strong, but I'm really not. I just wait until no one is around before I show it. I don't think my kids should have to see me upset.

4. I never tell my kids we can't afford something, or that something is too expensive. Once Riley asked for a swimming pool, and a made up a ton of reasons that we couldn't get one, but I refused to tell him that I would never spend 1000 dollars on an above ground pool. I think telling kids that makes them feel inferior.

5. I always wonder if my dad would be proud of the person I've become.

6. The Little Mermaid is my favorite Disney movie. It was my favorite as a kid, and I make my daughter watch it when she asks for a movie, because it's one of the few that NEVER gets on my nerves. I still know all of the words to all of the songs... OK, I'm not gonna lie... I know all the lines in the movie too.

7. I bought my kids special piggy banks that are divided into 4 compartments: Save, Spend, Donate and Invest. I want them to be financially responsible at a young age because I wasn't.

8. I hate that I'm not a constant in my niece's life. It's the one thing that will never be OK with me about military life.

9. I really want one of these bracelets, but can't even start to spend that much money on a bracelet. www.attagirlgifts.com

10. I love making cakes, but I never do it for money. I think I'll feel too pressured to do things just perfectly, and won't enjoy it if I let someone pay me.

11. One day, when my cousin gets married, I'm singing our favorite song as kids at her wedding. She doesn't know it, and I can't sing, but I'm going to do it anyway.

12. I'm doing the weight watcher's online program. I'm kind of frustrated with it though. I've only lost 2 lbs in 2 weeks.... Don't they realize I have 18 more to go??? I want to speed things up a bit.

13. My kids put me in my place with their comments, often.

14. I love wedding cake scented anything, but I don't like vanilla scents. Call me crazy, but they ARE different.

15. I'm a Libra. I don't really believe in horoscopes, or predicting the future, blah, blah, blah... but I do have a lot of "typical libra characteristics."

16. I'm getting better about asking for help when I need it. Some of you know what a big deal that is for me :o).

17. I love visiting family, not only because I get to see everyone, but because I get to spend time with my kids that I don't get to spend with them at home.

18. I think God had me in mind when he made my husband. He couldn't be more perfect for me. Even when we aren't happy, we're just right together.

19. I named my daughter Grace, and I feel guilty for it. She is the least coordinated child on the face of the planet.

20. My son is smarter than me... or at least smarter than I was at his age. He amazes me.

21. Every night, I give my kids their "sunshines," (the "You Are My Sunshine" song). I hope I never take it for granted.

22. I LOVE going to amusement parks and the zoo. It makes me happy :o). The beach... not so much.

23. I'm horrible at doing the bills. I always make a careless mistake. Carl takes care of all of the bills, and for that, I am thankful.

24. I love blogging, but I've learned to take time off from it if I'm not completely happy. I can write some pretty insensitive things sometimes.

25. I'm hoping we can move out of this area soon. I like the people here, and the area isn't bad, but I think the region makes my son sick. That sounds a little ridiculous, but I believe it.

Today I learned...

2009-02-02T16:09:00.000-08:00

where exactly the tonsils are... I thought it was the little thing that hangs down in the middle, but it's not. For anyone else who may be unsure:

I'm pretty sure Grace has strep throat. We're going to the doctor at 4:30. When it rains, it pours.

Money Makes the Merry-Go-Round

2009-01-31T17:50:00.001-08:00

I never want my kids to believe that money is the only result of success, however I do want them to understand the importance of being financially responsible at an early age, so I've decided to get them these new piggy banks:

They have 4 different options for kids to choose for their money. I think this shows them that they shouldn't always SPEND every penny they get, and it gives them the control to choose where they want to apply it. Now my only dilemma is explaining investment to a three year old. I'll come up with it.... Surely.

I changed my settings...

2009-01-30T17:18:00.000-08:00

So you can leave comments now :o). Sorry!

It's Official...

2009-01-28T16:26:00.001-08:00

Carl's gone. The floors are swept and mopped. The bathrooms are clean. The laundry is done. My paperwork is all caught up on. The bills and miscellaneous papers are filed. The grocery shopping is done. Riley's homework is done. My furniture is dusted and polished... This is by no means my way of saying that Carl doesn't clean. He probably cleans more than me. But when he's gone, I have a tendency to get everything done, because I have nothing better to do. Is it possible to lose the will to procrastinate? Oh, and dinner's ready. The biggest clue that Carl is gone: it's hamburger helper. Beef pasta anyone?

I could only aspire to be loved this much...

2009-01-28T09:33:00.000-08:00

We're Making Plans!

2009-01-26T20:21:00.000-08:00

We'll be visiting Texas and Oregon before July. I can't wait :o)!